I think if you have read my bio, you'd understand that I am a christian, but I feel like it is important to note that I am also a Christ-follower. I think that many churches/Christians/people would have us believe that there is no distinction between the two, but that is where I have to disagree.
Here is my back-story:
I grew up in a Christ-following family with christian role models that taught me about grace, love, the value of hard work, what beauty is, and how to be thankful for each day. As a family, we went to a very traditional christian church where I learned a lot about the Bible and scripture. I also began to be comfortable with guilt, the same way you begin to be comfortable with that splinter you just cant get rid of. You do everything you can to avoid it, and when that’s not possible, you ignore it. (reminds me of this verse) My “walk with God” was running on schedule right up until the day I realized the splinter had worked its way into my heart and was slowly killing me.
I had done everything that I thought was expected of me. I did my best to never let any of my christian peers down, and sacrificed my happiness every chance I got. (Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those martyr sob stories. Keep reading.) But I felt empty. I didn’t feel any closer to my Creator, and I felt as if I had no purpose. When my marriage dissolved, I felt like a failure. In my mind, I had done it by the book, and still managed to let everyone I knew down. My guilt was overwhelming, and I no longer had the support I once had from my church, I had been excluded.
Life got better (as it always does) and I re-discovered a real relationship with my Creator. Not one based on promises that I won’t ever mess up again, but one based on the knowledge that I will make mistakes (some big and some small) but that my Jehova Jireh will continue to love and nurture me, even so. My new relationship is so freeing. So full of grace. I no longer feel a constant pull of the guilt chains that used to bind my soul-instead I feel the love of the One who created me with purpose.
If only christians could learn this love. The love that Jesus talks about when he tells his apostles to love each other, and mankind. He explains that the world will know the Jesus followers by their love-not the denomination of church they attend, not their squeaky clean past, not by their sexual orientation, not the bumper sticker on their car,-but by the love they can show for humanity in His name.
I don’t claim to have all the answers. (or any, really.) I don’t think Im really meant to have them. But what I do know is this: Jesus was not exclusionary, he was revolutionary. He showed love, understanding, and grace to everyone he met, and THAT is what its all about.
