SO, as much as I hate to say it, I am job hunting again. This job is killing my soul and I see no good happening (more the opposite, in fact)not to mention I now have to pay out of my own pocket for the gas used while I am working. (bitter? maybe.)
I watched a movie today that was really inspiring and reminded me why I went back to school to begin with. I wanted to work for a non-prof when I got out of ASU and then the end game was law school, since I have always been very social-justice minded. I am now working for what might as well be a government program, and it is pretty disheartening. If nothing else from this job, I have learned that government social programs will always be necessary, but are rarely adequate. I think the non-profs are the only organizations that are making a real difference, so that's the place to be.
My struggle is deciding where I fit in. I am drawn to justice. I long to speak for those who are unable to speak for themselves. But it seems doing it for a daily 9-5er robs the task of all its passion. And there's the rub...
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley
I have some serious decisions to make, and am hoping that the Guidence that has always shown its will for my life will make that will known again...
love love love.
